Church of the OneShot
by 3.1415927
Summary: Just random one-shots I've concocted. Weird title, I know. But who doesn't love one-shots? OOC-ness on many levels. T for paranoia and possible references to addiction and such. Sorry if it sucks!
1. ToshiroXKarin

**Here's the first sermon: Toshiro and Karin. I know it's weird 'cause he's like... 500 years older than her. But, I think it's really cute. And... He kinda stalks her at one point. This takes place at about that time. I don't remember specific episodes/chapters. Don't hate.**

**Disclaimer: Roses are red, Violets are blue. I own nothing, you don't sue. Kapeesh?**

**WARNING: OOC-ness. **

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3rd Omniscient

They met on accident. Fate, some might call it.

He didn't believe in fate. Why should he? Look at what he was.

But maybe, that's fate too.

Maybe it's all fate. Out of our hands. Our destiny, not our own.

Maybe.

Toshiro 1st

I can't believe I'm actually doing this...

That was the thought running through my mind as I climbed the old oak tree and nimbly jump to the roof of the Park Building.

But... It was worth it.

I hope.

Just to see her ease with almost anything, her strength, her beautiful black hair...

She was playing soccer as usual. With her friends. They were so much... Weaker than her.

The one that looked like a drunk clown trips, and falls. He bursts out crying.

"Oh, get up. It's just a scrape." She says sardonically.

He whimpers out, "But... You're just too tough, Karin."

Yup. That's right. I was practically stalking Karin Kurosaki.

Ichigo would kill me if he found out.

They're leaving. The park is almost deserted except for one person.

Karin.

She looks annoyed. He only tripped, I think. It's not like the clown kid could help it.

"Hey, you. The kid on the roof." She calls out.

I look around. Crap. She's talking to me.

"The short kid with the spiky white hair." I fume at this, but soon my anger is replaced by anxiety. What am I supposed to do?

I leap from the roof, then walk as calmly as possible to meet her.

"Um... This looks bad..." I start.

"Bad? I'm pretty sure it illegal." So she's mad at me. I gulp. She doesn't seem like the person you want mad at you.

I guess I like that. It means that she can stand up for herself. I just wish that anger wasn't directed at me.

"Well..." I try to swallow. I can't. Am I sweating? Is it noticeable?

She's glaring at me.

"I was- I was just... I wasn't stalking you, if that's what you think."

"Oh really? Because I've seen you up there for the past week."

"Dang. I guess I'm getting worse with my sneaking abilities."

She laughs. "Ya think?"

Okay... So she's not so mad anymore. _**(A/N: Here comes my sad attempt at humor...) "**_So... What'd the fish say when it swam into a wall?"

"Are you serious." She asks critically.

"Dam. Get it? Heh heh..." I mentally facepalmed myself. I'm so lame.

She snorts. "You're pathetic. And funny. It's a good combination."

Is she serious? I'm not sure what to do next.

Just as I open my mouth, she puts a finger to my lips. "How about Friday? I like movies. Meet you at the downtown theatre."

She walks off, and I just sorta stand there, open mouthed.

Friday Night

The movie was a corny love flick... Karin's idea. We made fun of it the whole time, and got kicked out at about the middle.

So we went to an all night diner and had breakfast for dinner. I made her laugh, and had a great time.

I found out she likes the same mortal bands as me, and we both have an obsession for breakfast foods.

I feel love-drunk.

It's so weird. I would've never thought I would feel like this... Especially with Ichigo's little sister.

We're walking, hand in hand. Just... Walking.

We end up at the park, right under the old oak tree.

Before I know what's happening, we kiss. Nothing big, just a little peck. But...

It's the best I've ever felt.

I know that we can never be, and I know this will probably be the last time I ever see her.

But maybe... When I'm done with being a Soul-Reaper, we'll meet.

All I know is just this moment, holding her, under the old oak tree.

3rd Omniscient

So maybe it is fate, maybe we're preordained.

Or maybe we make our own destinies, our own futures.

Maybe it's a mixture of the two.

Whatever is going on, it worked for these two.

_**I told you it was a sad attempt at humor. **_

_**Yeah, she's 11. I know this. It's not like they made out or anything.**_

_**And yeah, he's like... 400. But everyone deserves love. Besides... He looks 11. **_

**_There will be more! _**

**_-3.14159_**


	2. UryuXOrihime

**_Hello again! Here we are, I made it to the second "sermon"... I actually can't believe it! Even though no one reads this story... ANYYWAYS. This time, it'll be OrihimexUryu. Yes, "well endowed" as Kon puts it and the Four-Eyed Quincy. Set a year after Bleach is set._**

**_I am not nor will I ever be Tite Kubo. So I don't own anything._**

3rd Omniscient

Everyone has a soul mate. A person out there, waiting for you, even if they don't know it yet.

He didn't believe in that. And why should he, seeing what he's been through, what he's seen people's soul go through, what HIS soul has gone through.

She'd like to believe in love. But with a long string of bad boyfriends, how can she?

Everyone has a soul mate. They just have to open up their hearts.

Uryu 3rd

RIIIIING!

Finally. School was over. It was a normal day, or at least normal enough.

When he got to school, some one put soda in his backpack. As he was washing his things out, some one took his glasses and hid them. In the toilet.

Class was boring, he already knew everything the teacher had to teach.

Some one tripped him at lunch, causing him to trip and spill his food all over himself. As he was washing his clothes off, some one threw his books in the toilet.

He stared out the window, trying to ignore all the annoying jabs about how he was a nerd and that he was "four-eyed".

Then, tinkling laughter. Like soft bells. He couldn't mistake it for the world.

Orihime.

He sighs. Why does she affect him so much?

Her easy-to-smile lips, her golden-orange silk hair, her easy-going personality, the way she makes him smile without trying...

But there's also her boyfriends. The long, almost never ending line of boys who went out with her for her body. The people same people who make her cry. He knows. He can hear her next door through his open window.

These are the people who make his blood boil.

Uryu sighs and puts his stuff away. Now, where did he put his homework? It was right in front of him...

"Looking for something?" The taunt comes from behind him.

He stiffens. That's Hiroshi, Orihime's current abusive boyfriend. Also known as Number 14 in Uryu's mind.

Slowly, he turns around. The jerk has a maniacal grin on his face, and Uryu can only sit and watch as he slowly tears one of the sheets of paper in half.

He stands. "What are you gonna do about it, you four-eyed freak?"

Uryu keeps his face stony. No need egging Number 14 on by getting emotional.

"You gonna cry to your momma? Oh that's right. SHE'S DEAD!"

Just as he's about to retort, Number 14 gets hit on the back of the head.

"Hey! There's no need for that!" It's Orihime. But... what's she doing standing up for Uryu? He's confused. Why does she care?

14 seems just as baffled as he feels. "Stickin' up for the little nerd, are we? Well I can't have that." With the last word, he slaps Orihime on the cheek. Hard.

She cries out in pain, and that's all it takes for him to explode. Uryu stands up so fast his chair gets knocked down behind him.

Quick as lightning, he punches Number 14 in the nose. The old fighting reflexes he had come back to him.

But 14 is training to be a tai kwon do master, and Uryu is rusty with his skills.

Let's just say he gets his but kicked.

Of course, Uryu's the only one to get blamed for the fight, even though he's clearly worse off.

Detention for three weeks.

"But that's not fair!" Orihime cries out. Again, Number 14 and Uryu are shocked into silence.

"You have something against this, Ms. Inoue? Fine, you can serve detention with Mr. Ishida," The teacher says with a bored tone.

"But-" Uryu begins, but to no avail.

After a long lecture, he begins to trudge on home. But not long after he leaves the school yard, Orihime runs up to him.

"Hey!"

"Oh, hi, Ms. Inoue. Sorry you got stuck with detention too."

"It's no biggie. And please, we've known each other long enough. Call me Orihime."

"Okay... Orihime." He speaks her name with a smile. A beautiful name to fit a beautiful girl. "Mind if I walk you home? I mean, since we live next to each other..." He blushes.

"Sure! And..." she begins, swinging her bag as she walks. "Me and Hiroshi broke up."

He's surprised, but not all together shocked. After the way she showed she actually had a brain, why would Number 14 want a girl like that?

"O-oh. Well, that's too bad."

"I'm really not too sad. I mean, he wasn't all that great."

"Well, you're better than that anyways, " Uryu replies, but then blushes even deeper when he realized he said it out loud.

She stops. "You really think that?"

"Well, yeah. I mean, you're really smart, and funny. And strong, and..."

"And?" Orihime prods, voice hushed.

"And... Pretty." He averts his eyes by staring at an ant making it's way toward it's nest.

There's a pause. It seems like an eternity, but the ant hasn't even made it to it's home by the time she answers.

"I'm happy." Uryu looks up, and sees that her eyes are damp.

He panics. "Don't cry! I didn't mean to insult you, or-"

Orihime shushes him by putting a finger to his lips. Her hands are warm, so warm...

"I'm crying because I'm happy." If possible, he blushes even further.

She hugs him, and it feels so good to have her there next to him, holding him.

The rest of the way home, the hold hands and talk. Not about anything special, just talking.

And it's perfect for the both of them.

And maybe, detention won't be so bad after all.

3rd Omniscient 

So, maybe he was rash in thinking there was no hope at true love.

Maybe she was right all along.

They opened their hearts, and were able to open their very souls to each other.

Question is, will you?

**_BAM! An update. I'm sorry that the lines weren't working in the last chapter, and I'm sorry that I screwed up my own pen-name. (-_-;) _**

**_And I'm sorry that these kinda suck. I like them. Hope you do too._**

**_I APOLOGIZE ALSO FOR ANY GRAMMAR MISTAKES THAT GET PAST MY EDITOR (AKA me and my best friend.)_**

**_Review! _**

**_-3.1415927_**


	3. RukiaXUrahara Because I Am

_**Hello, I'm back! I know no one reads this story but I will continue updating because it's fun.**_

_**This time it is Rukia and Urahara. I had an alternate title for this chapter, "Becuase I Am". Enjoy!**_

_**I own nothing, please don't sue!**_

3rd Omniscient

The one, the true one, will love you for you.

If you change, how will you ever find the one who you will truly be happy with?

How will you know?

Rukia 1st

"Who do you love, Ru-chan?"

Such an innocent query. Especially coming from Orihime. I could see the fear in her eyes, the trepidation before she asked.

I sigh. Why did everyone think I was infatuated with Ichigo? It was obvious she is.

"Honestly, Hime-chan, I don't know." She gives me a skeptical glance, but it's gone in a flash. Because she's Orihime and isn't mean to anyone.

_Why can't I be more like her?_

The question shocks me almost as much as the answer. _Because I am Rukia Kuchiki. _

And that's exactly why I ask, "How are you so pure?"

She blushes at this. Another good quality Orihime possess is she is never vain.

"Oh, Rukia. I see where this is going. I've had this talk with multiple girls, and I know that expression. You think you should change for your love."

It's my turn to blush. I mutter, "Maybe."

"Please, never feel the need to change. When you find the right person, they will tell you your best qualities. I hope you believe that person, because you're the best kind of person I know."

Orihime smiles at me, and I feel grateful for having a friend like her.

She takes my hand and squeezes. "I mean it."

"Thank you. So very much," my voice is hushed, clogged by emotion. "I have some thinking to do."

She laughs. "Best of luck!"

~Page Break~

Hours later, I jump down from the tree I had been lounging in.

My time had been spent pacing, worrying, wondering, and anxiously jiggling my leg.

But that's not really my style. I decide to take action.

My mind had been set from the beginning. I had just been pushing it off.

But that's not really my style either.

I'm going to tell him.

I go in head held high, my body in battle mode.

_I am Rukia Kuchiki, Goddammit. I am a fearless warrior, a ruthless contender._

"Urahara!" I bark. _Oops. Not supposed to sound mad. _

There's utter silence. "Urahara?" Still nothing.

"Tessai? Ururu?"

I storm through the cramped shop into the back rooms. "Urahara!" I yell. "Show yourself- oh." I trail off when I see him slurping ramen, eyeing me curiously.

For the second time today, I blush_. Great_. He was eating lunch, of course he couldn't answer me.

"Yesh, Rukia-chan?" The blonde asks through a mouthful of noodles. He dabs his mouth almost daintily with a napkin.

My voice is feeble. "Well, I-I wanted to talk to you..." Where has my spirit gone?

Mustering every once of courage I own, I try again. "I wanted to talk to you."

"Need new soul candy? A new pack came in. They have Chappy!"

"Not about business." This makes him put down his chopsticks.

Smiling almost coyly, he says, "Go for it."

_Deep breath. Breathe, Rukia. I am fearless._

"I-I love you. You never fail to make me smile, and even though you don't show it often you are incredibly smart. You always know what to do and you're arrogant but it's charming and-" Urahara silences me by putting his had over mouth.

"Rukia-chan." His voice is hushed, almost husky, head bent, smiling. "I love you too."

At first, my mind goes blank with joy. The warrior in me rejoices in victory.

I close my eyes. We're so desperately close. Suddenly, I feel warm lips against mine. Urahara wraps his arms around me, and it feels like home.

I break away first. "Why. Tell me why."

"Why what?" He murmurs, head on my shoulder.

"Why you love me."

He straightens up and pulls me towards him. I end up in his lap.

"I love you for you. You're strong, independent, brave, beautiful, intelligent. I love your violet eyes, how when you think deeply it's like I can see the secrets of the universe in them.

"I love the set of your shoulders before you go into battle, the way you hold your head high. I love how you can be infinetly kind, yet still posses a backbone.

"I love you for exactly who you are."

We sit in silence, me breathing in his scent, like soap and rosemary, peaches and thyme. The blonde plays with my hair.

"Kisuke..." He jumps at the sound of his rarely spoken name.

"Mm?"

"I never want to leave."

And it's true. I've never spoken truer words.

He kisses me again, and I know I will love him forever.

Because I am Rukia Kuchiki.

And I am exactly who I am.

3rd Omniscient 

Sometimes, that some one makes you realize who you are.

Because who you are is beautiful, and there is some one out there who can see it.

**_FIN._**

**_Hope you liked it. I did. _**

**_-3.1415927_**


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